Friday, 15 April 2016

A Swing to the Moon

Dedicated to Jonah Greenfield 

It seemed the world was crumbling apart,
Brick by brick, a fire ripped through his heart.
A heart that was still empty and yet to be filled,
A heart that was still hopeful yet easily killed.
It beamed with a light, that made darkness tremble,
It fought against hate, made faith reassemble.
But, in the eyes of a man, who only saw through his mind,
The heart was pathetic and the worst of its kind.

“Please just let me be” the boy silently cried,
A sadness swallowing him from deep inside.
Fat chunky tears, wept off his face,
Yet still he was careful that they left no trace,
Because inside he knew he deserved better than this.
He couldn’t, he wouldn’t, let his dreams go amiss.

So he packed up his bags and went on his way,
His heart in his hand, his mind wishing he could stay.
He walked on and on, dragging his feet,
A strength in his soul that would not allow defeat.
When finally, in a clearing, he saw two wooden swings
One covered in gold, the other painted with wings.
He was so lost in awe, of what they could be,
That he failed to notice the girl in the tree.

“Do you like them?” She giggled, making him jump.
“I made them myself, out of magic and luck.
And you see up there, that golden bright moon?
That’s where they’ll take me, someday soon!”
The daydreaming girl excitedly chattered away,
“The moon is more beautiful than any earth’s day
and I’ve heard it’s maybe made out of cheese
I’ll let you know when I get there,” she sang to the breeze.
Her excitement was infectious but the boy sadly knew,
That reality would make her dream impossible to do.
Nobody could fly to the moon on a swing,
On just a few wooden planks and a bit of frayed string.
Yet, just before he could word his own doubt,
He realised her happiness was the first he’d seen about.
So despite knowing her dreams wouldn’t come true,
He befriended the girl, and followed her dream too.

Over many years, the boy and girl grew,
And a friendship blossomed, as many friendships do.
But, this one was different and so special, so kind,
And like sister, like brother, they left their worries behind.
They continued their lives but occasionally fluttered away,
To sit on the swings, and dream about the day,
That they’d land on the moon, and look down from the sky,
And see the world as they know it, but from so far up high.
Yet… the boy wasn’t ready, to leave his world once again,
He loved his new life more than his words could explain.
It secretly hurt him when she spoke about the stars,
When she cried over planets claiming they were better than ours.

Seasons passed and time ticked on,
The boy had finally healed, his past sadness gone,
but the girl had struck a heartbreak, her eyes brimming with tears,
She was beginning to suffer and relive his fears.
It seemed her world was crumbling apart,
Brick by brick, a fire ripped through her heart.
A heart cracked and bruised by a monster she'd met,
A heart dented with hate and a vicious type of debt;
Inside she knew she deserved better than this,
She couldn’t, she wouldn’t, let her dreams go amiss.

So she packed up her bags and went on her way,
Even when the boy begged her to stay,
“Those swings are just swings, not rockets to the moon,
If you try to fly, you’ll surely be doomed”
“Anything is better than this place on earth”
Crying she sobbed, “I deserve simple worth.”
So, she sat on her swing and kicked up feet,
She was finally escaping by admitting defeat.
Up and up she swung into the sky
She felt the breeze on her cheeks and whispered goodbye
Then she let the swing go and flung through the air,
And in that moment she flew, spinning with flair.
The boy gasped as she danced and sat upon a cloud,
She threw back her head and giggled out loud,
She beamed out a smile and outstretched her arm.
Before BANG! She dropped out of the sky and straight into harm,
She fell through the wind and crashed at his feet,
Broken and cracked, her dream left incomplete.

Her knees and elbows gushed with blood, angst, pain.
And as she began to cry, the sky began to rain,
Her hopes shattered as she saw the heavens open and weep
And she grasped the boy’s hand as they crumbled into a heap.
“I am such a failure, what am I going to do?
I just wanted to leave and for my dreams to come true!
The moon will never know, what it’s like to feel my weight
And I will never get to live, what I thought was destined fate.”
The boy tenderly pressed his lips to her head
And wiped away her tears before he thoughtfully said
“Look, around you, breathe in. Tell me what you see?”
“I see.. I see a place we made memories, just you and me.
Here we played, told secrets, took the world in our stride
Here is the place we could leave all sadness behind.”
The girl suddenly saw what she’d never realised before,
That she had been living a dream, while always needing, wanting more.

The real dream was happiness and she’d had it every day,
Even when all she had wanted was to just run away.
She had been blessed with a friendship, she couldn’t live without,
When her sanity had been questioned, he’d still stuck about.
He’d held her hand when she had struggled to simply get through a week
And under pressure he’d helped her, prove she wasn’t weak.
He was the only one who managed to keep her head out of the clouds
And to firmly anchor her soul onto solid ground.
She cried then with happiness and the sleet began to melt away.
The boy sat her down and said what he’d always wanted to say,
“Sometimes we pursue dreams that we aren’t destined to reach,
but that truly doesn’t mean the dream’s journey doesn’t teach.
Your next dream is going to be bigger and much better than the moon
And my heart knows for sure, that that dream will come true ”

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about friendship and I have begun to realise how important the friendships I have made so far are to me. I sometimes feel like I have been left a bit on the sidelines of life, a benchwarmer to a game that I once used to eagerly captain. Maybe a bit too eagerly... I used to want to do so much in my life that I would never settle for just average of a dream, I had to have it all.  The past few weeks have been pretty stressful for me and on top of school work and the upcoming roar of exams I have wanted to do nothing more than to just escape from everything and follow crazy adventurous dreams that perhaps aren't very practical or even possible... at the moment. It's time like these that my true friends have really shown who they are and I have never felt so thankful for each and every one of them. Jonah, who happens to be one of the most amazing human beings who has ever walked on this earth (If you fancy, here is his Instagram) is just one of the handful of friends in my life who are the reason I am even able to carry on, even when it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and I really just wanted to write something that reflected that! This is the first I have ever shared my poetry on my blog so I'd love to hear your opinions and if you'd like to hear more, just let me know in the comments below!

Sunday, 28 February 2016

The Ordinary Extraordinary

This post may just seem like a bundle of unnecessary dwellings but it could perhaps be  the purpose that will continue to make you smile for the rest of the day. It all depends on who you are and how you perceive these words. You might laugh because they are frankly ridiculous, irrelevant and make no difference in your life what so ever OR they might give you a spark of hope, love and faith. It might be the reason you say that particular thing to that particular person or it might inspire you to write a poem or song that could go on to make you the person you always dreamed about. My point is, this post is either of no importance or of a reasonably high importance but it simply cannot be just dismissed as moderately important. It's your choice to read on.

Who are you? I'm not talking about the ordinary part of you that can be labelled as a student, or an actor, lawyer, nurse.... The list goes on. I'm talking about who you are as a unique extraordinary person.

"A unique extraordinary person you say? Oh Holly! As charming as you are trying to make this post out to be, we are all just ordinary people "

Why must there be so much doubt? Within you there is something nobody has ever thought of before. You could've been the first person in the whole of history to have strung together that particular set of words. You could be the only person to have stood on that certain tile on the floor. You might've been the first person in the country to have opened their eyes this morning or maybe you are the only person in the whole world who has dreamt about a turtle flying to the moon. You might be someone's favorite person or have the best laugh in your friendship group.

You could've been the first person to smile at somebody today, or be the beautiful stranger in someone's favorite photograph. You might've been somebody's first crush or the unknown daydreamer that someone was momentarily captivated by when they saw you on the bus. You might have the nicest hair in your entire maths class or be someone's favorite person. Perhaps you are the only person to have seen that particular leaf on that tree or the only person reading this while simultaneously eating pretzels. You might be part of someone's first memory or be the image that pops into someone's head when they hear the lyrics to their favorite song. You could've been the only person to have tripped up on that step or maybe the only person to have envisioned heaven being a place filled with talking dolphins swimming in candyfloss filled fountains. You could be the only person who associates the colour orange with the definition behind "Precipitation" because one time in Geography you highlighted it that. This morning you might've been somebody's first thought, the inspiration behind someone's new effort or the comforting voice somebody heard passing by when they were just about to lose it.

The point is, you are a happening that has impacted the world in some way. Sometimes it might feel like we are lost. There are so many other people in this world, it can often feel so overcrowded and suffocating that we tend to forget about the bizarre possibilities that make us different and worthy of a good life. We tend to chance our differences out of fear that we are too odd or seemingly worthless because we hold on to comforts as irrelevant and minor as those. The extraordinary unique possibility of a "perhaps you are the only person to..." opens new doors to who we are. We may never know if any of those statements are true, but out of the possibility of all the unlikely things to happen in your life, you will likely have at least one of them happen to you. Our differences set us aside for greater things. The only person stopping you from living a better destiny is yourself. It is your choice to believe or not.

It's true that we are all just ordinary people... But it is your choice to set a positive perspective and pursue an extraordinary life. 

Friday, 15 January 2016

Duke of Edinburgh Silver Award

Sperrins Mountains, Northern Ireland

Last weekend I got to go on one of the most positively challenging weekends of my life. I have ached in places I didn't even know existed, seriously considered that my death may be near and laughed to the point of tears. I've always considered myself as a positive person and I constantly try to motivate others to think similarly yet my first Duke of Edinburgh silver expedition really put me to the test. For those of you who don't know, the Duke of Edinburgh awards are a series of a awards designed to help acquire young adults to challenge themselves in different areas of their life, this includes sports, volunteering, skills and the dreaded long waited expedition.

As many of you already know, I live in the dainty wee country of Northern Ireland where the landscape is rich in lots of open green land and mountains. Our silver expedition took place in the Sperrins which was very new territory for us. Most of us had never even set foot in the Sperrins before, having previously practiced and walked in the well known Mourne Mountains. Despite carrying twice your own body weight on your back in a rucksack, the beauty of scenery is still not escaped. It blows my mind that there is such beauty right on my doorstep that I had never even seen before. Every step was one towards a different part of the world we had never discovered and to know that the only direction you have is your own mental ability to read maps is pretty scary.

There is something about walking that just opens your mind and makes everything seem so clear and anxious free. You are so caught up in the challenge of the moment that your determination and fire just completely overwrites every small worry and stress. It's honestly like being on an adventure and no matter where you turn there is always something new to look at, however irrelevant it is! You learn so much about yourself and the people around you when you are put under such pressure and I don't know another way any person my age could truly experience that. As we walked we discovered many beautiful historical buildings that we decided to collect together as our expedition aim.

There is no right or wrong way to do an expedition. Everyone at some point is going to complain and just wish they could rip their map in half but at the end of the day, when you are sitting in the middle of no where, eating your soggy sandwiches alongside your seventh mars bar, you have a choice to make. You can either continue to sob and evaluate your life or make the moment you are in count. You can try and find the right way or you can just make your own because when everyone comes together and works as a team, you will eventually reach your destination.

Some succeed because they are destined to but most succeed because they are determined to. If you want to go fast, you can walk alone but if you want to go far you have to walk together.

Thursday, 20 August 2015

Dreading Exam Results Day

Today is results day. Screams fill the towns and cities, lightning strikes pursue the skies and every teenager in the country is filled with anxiety and anguish over their impending doom. Where are the lies? I can honestly, hands down, think of at least fifty plus things I would rather do than head down to school this morning and face my fate. By the time you have read this, I could have already opened that envelope and found out the results to those GCSE exams I sat a lifetime ago. I can't believe the time that has passed since I wrote that first blog post talking about the end of my exams and the blissful beginning of summer and now here we are. Yet, here are the facts. Those results were determined when I put down my pen and walked out of that examination hall long ago. Nothing I say, nor do from now on is going to change that. I just have to hope that my best was enough. For all of you lovelies who are about to also face the terror today, I thought I'd give you ten points on how you can cope with it and hopefully, no matter what happens, by the end of the day, you will still be you just minus the stress and anxiety! Also, even if you aren't getting your exam results today maybe these tips can help you in other anxiety filled aspects of your life. So, without further or do, let's get started!

1. Simply Relax 
Easier said than done I know, but seriously, rest your mind. Remember you have been in much more panicked situations than this before, you sat these exams remember? If you can do that, you can sure as heck do this! There is no point getting worked up over a little piece of paper, it won't change anything!

2. You're Not Alone!
Guess who else is going to be reacting to their fate today? Every other GCSE student in the UK! You are one of many of your kind and you can use this to your advantage. Search hashtags like #ResultsDay or #GCSEResults on Twitter or Tumblr. You will be surprised by how many other kids are also have emotional breakdowns at this present moment and you can have a good laugh at some of the jokes and memes. Also, although our High School Musical days are long gone, it will calm your nerves knowing that we are all in this together!

3. It Will All Be Over Soon.
If we break it down and just think about this situation. It's actually pretty lame. All we are doing is going in to fetch a piece of paper that has a few statistics and letters on it. What are we all getting freaked out over? Just go in and do it. It will all be over in a matter of minutes, have a good old sob then laugh at yourself and deal with what is in front of you. Do not freak out in front of people who haven't opened their results yet, try and hold it together. They are just as nervous as you and probably could do without it.

4. Options, Opportunities and a Whole Lot More.
So I know you have this whole plan in your head on how things are going to work out. Me too. The truth is though, when we find out our results it might not work out for us. That's okay though. Do not panic. You can still resit some exams and there are a stack full of other options and opportunities you can explore. Maybe it's what is best for you and don't be discouraged if you don't get what you had hoped for. We all have our limits and at least you can still say you tried your best right? I have had to resit exams in the past and it isn't a sign of failure! Your exam results will help guide you to do what is best suited for you and there will be teachers there to offer you support and guidance. They know and they understand. So don't be afraid to speak up and ask for some help!

5. Focus on the Positive. 
Before and after just try to adjust the situation to a more positive one. You are only getting an envelope. You don't actually have to do anything other than that. It's not the same as going into an exam, it's actually a much more relaxed environment if you think about it! When you get your results look at the positives. So hey, maybe you didn't do as well in chemistry as you would have liked but I mean would you look at that geography score! You can deal with the negatives tomorrow but you have had enough stress for today so just celebrate and relax for now!

I hope those tips helped, I'm just going to have to now learn to follow my own advice! Just remember that at the end of the day, your results do not define you as a person or predict your future. I wish everyone getting their results get what they deserve and what they worked hard for. 

The best of luck! 

Thursday, 23 July 2015

It's Only a Sparkle

You know that warm tingling feeling you get when something just makes you so happy? When a movie is just too amazing that you end up crying at it's finale or when you are in the middle of laughing so much you can barely breath. I call that little tingle of happiness a sparkle. How very fairy tale and soppy of me. When I was younger I had this whole theory in my head that those sparkles were the reason we all worked the way we do, those little sparkles worked like magic and little grubby chubby me truly, hands down, believed that those little sparkles were the answer to anything I didn't understand.

"How was the world created Holly?"
"Oh, Sparkles burst everywhere and then built it from magic!"

"Why is the sky blue?"
"You see, the sea has sparkles that reflect onto the sky!"

"What happened to the cat? Why is he wearing a princess dress?"
"He wanted to feel sparkly Mummy."

I thought the more sparkles you felt, the better a person you were and the more people you could make sparkle the more sparkles you would receive in return. In my little brain, among the two times tables and the rhyme that helps you spell "because", this seemed a very logical explanation. I wasn't a completely crazed child though because in a way, it does even now make reasonable sense. I mean surely if you make others happy, they will make you happy in return right? If you show kindness they will show it back to you because that's how it works. That was a sparkle rule, unspoken but always obeyed. It worked for ten year old me anyway and I lived by my rule for a very long time. I could have probably lived by it for longer, maybe even forever, if I had just ignored my curious consciouns. Yet, curiosity got the better of me.

The older I grew, the more I became aware that people didn't return my little sparks back all the time. I'd hold a door open and get no thank you or I'd smile at a passerby in the street and be ignored. This probably had been going on for a while but I was so busy living in my own sparkle run world that I just didn't see it. Then one day, I was told by someone that I was just too nice. I didn't fully understand, I mean how can someone be too nice? After a while though, I finally got it. I had gone through my whole life constantly putting other before myself, making sure I made everyone happy, going out of my way to be nice to people. That's not a bad thing but it is when people realise that is who you are and then start to take advantage of your kindness, treading over you and making you do what they want without consideration for your emotions. In some ways, I am still letting this happen, but I'm learning that although I can do anything, it doesn't mean I have to do everything. I can always just say no. I've learnt that it's okay to say no every now and then. If there is something you don't want to do, something that you think will make you unhappy. You can say no. Who knew?

Although I may have grown out of my sparkle theory, I still feel the sparks. Every time someone goes out of their way to smile at me, when someone compliments me or when someone actually makes an effort to make me laugh or get to know me, I'm reminded of the little sparks that once ran my world. I still try to share my sparks with everyone and sometimes I fail but I never gave up. You should all give it a shot sometime and just try to make someone who you don't even know that well laugh or smile. You might look a bit of an idiot but you could also make it happen. It can make a huge difference to a person and even to your own life! I, for one, would truly appreciate your effort.

It's only a sparkle but it's enough to keep me going. One spark is just enough to make a fire glowing. 

The Perfect Wedding

Now I'm not really one of those girls who dreams about their wedding day and their life with their future husband. I'm only sixteen and those things are quite positively the least of my worries and dreams. I didn't even know I had wedding goals until I saw this video and now I am completely utterly hooked!

Colleen and Joshua bodyroll down the aisle. 

Just in case you have been living under a rock these past few years and haven't heard of Miranda Sings, she is a youtuber who has some hilariously bad singing videos, the biggest red crazy lips you have ever seen  and seems to basically be everything annoying and irritating in a person. I just so happen though, to completely adore her! Unfortunately, (Or fortunately I suppose, it depends on your perspective!) Miranda is only a character and is played by the beautiful Colleen Ballinger  who unbelievably actually has an amazing singing voice!

Miranda Sings
A while back, Colleen tied the knot with her now husband Joshua Evans and the whole day was filmed on camera and edited to the most beautiful video I have ever seen. Lucky lucky us! I've had to say goodbye to my original relationship goal of Troy and Gabriella and say hello to this new little bubble of joy. Something is very satisfying knowing that such a cute relationship actually exists in the non-fiction world! I have never cried so much over something so romantic and soppy but it's very hard to try and keep the tears at bay. It's just so perfectly pretty *sigh*. If you haven't seen it already, check it out! It's worth the watch! 

I'd love to hear your thoughts and let me know if you let off the water works too! Congratulations to the new Evans Family. I hope you are doing well!

P.S So just a bit of bad news.. my laptop has broken! I've had to upload from borrowing someones computer but its really not ideal. I'm struggling to keep up with other bloggers and I don't want you to think my support has been abandoned from your blogs, because it's not, I'll always still be here! On the upside, I have some really exciting stuff happening over the next few weeks that I can't wait to share with you guys, but sadly until my laptop is fixed I am in a bit of a pickle. Please bare wirh me guys, I'm going to try my best! Thank you so much for your on going support, you will  never know how much it means to me x

Thursday, 16 July 2015

The Faults of Love

Love is truly a many splendored things. It's actually such a powerful word as it stands for so much emotion and feeling. Love is definitely more than just a word. Love is so unconditional and it can come from just about anybody. Your Family, your friends and that one special person you focus a lot of it on. As a sixteen year old, I can't really relate to a romantic love relationship. I mean, sure, I've read my fair share of romance novels and most movies and plays these days have some sort of romantic interest in them but that's not really the same as a true experience. However, despite this fact, I still have a pretty strong perspective on love and why it is currently, in our society, being rejected, denied and misused. This isn't the way it has to be.

First of all, many people seem to reject the love given to them simply because they don't believe they are good enough. It's like that famous line from Stephen Chbosky's novel, "The Perks of Being Wallflower." :-

"We accept the love we think we deserve."

Many people in this day and age, especially in the teenage generation, have such low self esteems that we struggle to reach our full potential. By that I mean, we struggle to believe we are pretty amazing... and amazing people deserve to be loved! Not only does our lack of belief that we aren't good enough for someone or even something, restrict us from happiness but it also mighty sucks on the receiving end. Imagine giving your love and affection to someone who feels YOU are too good for them and then being completely rejected. It would be pretty humiliating and distressing but it happens. The person might even feel the same about you but they are just simply too afraid of getting hurt and heartbroken. We all need to start communicating and being a bit more fearless. I'm not saying hearts won't be broken but why not step out of your comfort zone and share a bit of love? Why not just go for it and find out? You never know until you try!

However, love is also constantly being denied. I'm not talking about your partner or your friend leaving you, or you pulling apart from a love you once had. I'm talking about other people restricting YOUR right to love, because they don't believe it's "right". Everybody deserves to love and be loved. Love has no labels and love isn't restricted to just "certain types of people". It doesn't matter what gender, skin colour, race, religion, age or ability you have or are, we can all still love one another. We are all the same - just normal human beings and love brings happiness no matter who is receiving it! If you want to love someone of a different ethnic group or someone of the same gender then that is your right. Never let anybody tell you that your love is wrong. Love can never be wrong. It's the only thing we can be certain on in this world!

Finally, I feel like the heavy word of "Love" is often misused, especially in my generation. We seem to throw the word love around like its a simple "Hello" these days. I'm not saying that throwing love in every direction isn't a bad thing. Quite frankly, if everybody showed love to everyone, the world would be a happier place, but love is much more than a word. I feel the word love is so strong and important that when it's used too often, it loses its important meaning. Saying "I love you" to someone should be from your heart. It should mean something to you. You can't just say the word, you need to continually show your affection, you need to be sure you will be truly dedicated to that person. You don't even need to use the word, you can share your love by simply making someone smile. There is so many different arcs of love, it's actually pretty breathtaking if we sit back and admire the view. Some people say love comes with a lot of baggage and in some ways that's true. There is probably going to be hardships and lots of ups and downs. It's the journey that counts though. Love can make you weak but it can also give you strength. All you need is love. It will always be something we find complicated but that's what makes it great. It's an unexpected adventure that's just waiting to happen!

Wishing you all find the love and happiness you deserve!